Why Do We Judge? MHM #2

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all had an amazing weekend and week ahead. Over the weekend I started college shopping, which was kind of overwhelming and went to the spa for a massage!

Today I wanted to link up with the amazing Julia, for a Mental Health Monday post. Over the weekend I was inspired to write a post about negative, judgmental people, after witnessing a nasty exchange on social media. Mental-Health-Monday-Logo-1

We are our own worst critic, right? We are a lot harsher on ourselves than anyone else. We would never say the things we say in our mind to ourselves to someone else. Well, what if someone does say something to you, pointing out your flaws and insecurities? How do you cope? It’s one thing to have these thoughts on your own but to have someone else say them to you out loud?!

The other day, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and noticed a post from one of the girls I went to high school with had gotten a lot of comments, and based on the couple shown, it looked like there were harsh words being said. A girl had wrote a mean comment on the photo to which about 7 of the girl who posted the picture’s friends responded, attacking the girl for her comment. Now, I know the first girl was in the wrong and I am not defending her but the comments that she received back to her made my cringe. They made me angry.

Here’s why, they were attacking her weight. They called her a cow. They told her to go eat McDonald’s and shut up. They called her a lot of curse words.

As a person who has struggled a lot in the past with body image and disordered eating, this infuriates me. How dare someone comment on someone else’s weight to PURPOSEFULLY make them feel bad. I know, I know, they will say she deserved it and they were defending their friend. But, why fight fire with fire? What happened to being the bigger person?

As a person in the later stages of recovery, it’s hard to witness people being so harsh and judgmental to each other. Something that we all say is that no one cares about what your body looks like. People care about who you are not the way you look. Well, seeing people judge someone for how they look can make someone believe that everyone IS judging their body and how it looks. They start to think that all those thoughts they have about their body are actually true and everyone else is thinking the same thing.

It can be hard to create a body positive world as a teenager because, the truth is, people judge each other. A LOT. And it’s sad. Even my best friends do it sometimes, and I get mad. I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been screenshots of people in my group chats judging someone else’s body. Why people feel the need to comment on someone else’s appearance is BEYOND me. They wouldn’t feel good knowing someone else was commenting on and judging their flaws with their friends, so why do it to someone else.

Teenagers are ruthless. They tear others down to defend their friends. To defend themselves. To make them feel better about themselves.

For someone who suffered with an eating disorder, I know that these comments can be more destructive than the person intends. They mean to defend someone, hopefully insulting them, but nothing too serious, right? Well, words hurt a lot more than actions do. Words can stick with you. They can be a trigger for something destructive. I know a lot of the comments made to me or about me when I was younger, have still stuck with me. I will never forget how someone made me feel because the words they said hurt me. Were they the trigger for my eating disorder? Not the sole trigger, but definitely one of the many.

If people could stop tearing each other down and judging people, then we really wouldn’t have to worry about what other people think. A lot of the time, people don’t care about what you look like. Well actually, most of the time. And I know that if someone is going to judge me for my appearance or someone else’s, they aren’t the kind of person i want in my life.

I want to surround myself with uplifting, positive, and likeminded people. I don’t want to have to worry that people ARE judging the fact that my weight is going up. I want people to EMBRACE their flaws and not pick them apart. Not feel any less worthy because of how they look or what they ate. I’m creating a world for myself that is body positive. I’m glad that this is becoming a bigger movement in our society because dear God, we need it.

Next time you go to judge someone, take a step back. Think about how you would feel if you were them. I’m not perfect, sometimes I catch myself about to judge someone, but then I realize, WHO THE HELL AM I? In what way at all does someone else’s life and happiness effect me and mine? It doesn’t. We all deserve happiness. And we do not have the right to judge someone else in ANY way.

I’m going to stop rambling now. I don’t know if this post makes any sense at all. I was probably all over the place but I just needed to write. This was something on my mind all day that was really bothering me. I hope this is somewhat cohesive.

That’s all for today. Thank you again, Julia for hosting this wonderful link up. Mental health is really important and I thoroughly enjoy reading the posts featured in this linkup. I hope you enjoyed this post and that it made sense as a whole.

Talk to you soon

xoxo

Michelle

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. YES, this. I used to be so judgmental, and by God’s grace, He has been teaching me so much about dealing with my own shortcomings and sins and not go around ‘being self-righteous’ and judgmental around everybody else. This is especially something that is rampant in the body image world, and it needs to stop.

    Like

    1. It has become so common recently and it truly is terrible!

      Like

  2. Emma says:

    Thanks for writing this, Michelle! I actually was having the same conversation with my mom the other day. I just can’t understand why people can be so negative and judgemental on social media. Luckily, there are some awesome body positive accounts out there and I always show them love!

    Like

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